im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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