her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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