If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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