i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
