he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
