is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
