theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
