I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
