Need sex. Gaining weight.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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