OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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