watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
