We're facebook friends in real life
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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