never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
