I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
