its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
