Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
