party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
