Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
