Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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