This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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