Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
