Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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