i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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