hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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