Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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