wakey wakey hands off snakey
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
