He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
