I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
