We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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