Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
