Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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