Welp...herpes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Randomize
