Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
