I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
