I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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