you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
