having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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