Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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