I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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