did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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