There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
