If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
