i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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