I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
