I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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