Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
