she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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