He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
