Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
