i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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