half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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